5 Tips for Transition to School

Are you ready? The summer is quickly passing us by whether we like it or not. With summer coming to an end, it means the start of the new school year is quickly approaching. If you have a child ages 0-5 starting school for the very first time or just returning with some potential first day of school jitters, here are 5 helpful tips to make that transition just a little bit easier on both you and your child.

1. Read, Sing, and Talk

This is probably the simplest, yet most underrated way that you can prepare your child for the start of a new school year. Reading about school school engages your child visually. There is a wealth of books available for starting the school year whether it be daycare, preschool, or kindergarten.

Singing about school makes it fun. Children love to sing songs and songs are easier for their developing minds to memorize. It can become an exciting tradition or ritual between you to sing “Wheels on the Bus” or even make up your own songs together about school.

Talk, talk, talk! Talking with your child regularly about school is a great way to prepare them for the start of the school year. It is a big transition in their lives, especially if it is their first time in school. I don’t advise lengthy conversations, as a toddler or child starting Kindergarten usually won’t be able to engage in those ways, but rather finding moments of calm to mention school. I have another blog post that has suggested conversations to have with your child in the months leading into starting the school year.

Giving your child ownership in their own school journey is one of the best ways to help make that transition to school just a little bit smoother. Getting a new backpack, lunchbox, crayons, etc. together allows your child to be involved in the process. After all, they are the one going to school. This is also another great conversation starter and a place to bring up things related to school. When you are picking out that backpack, you can talk about the ways in which the backpack will be used. For example, “you will bring this backpack with you to school and home every day. It will carry your books, your papers, and any other important things you need to bring to school.” Additionally, if they are involved in picking out this backpack, lunchbox, etc. It gives them another touchpoint to find something exciting about school. While we don’t want to ignore any nerves, we do want to emphasize the good things to come!

If a tour is possible, take it and take it WITH your child. The more involved you can get your child in this process, the less anxiety provoking the first day of school will be. Exposing them to the school at a time when it has lower stress implications i.e. not their first day, less children, etc. will help them to adjust. A tour is also another great way to foster conversation at home. When you are able to refer back to the places, things and people you met on your tour, it can spur great conversation. You can say something like, “What bright colors did you see in the classrooms?” “What did you think of the playground or the art room?” “What did you like about visiting your school?” At this point, you can also check in to see how they are feeling about school. You, as their parent, know your child, but if they are able to annunciate their feelings to you about school, it will help in fostering the lines of open communication between you and help them to name exactly how they are feeling so you can be there with them through it. A child can only comprehend and understand so much from a conversation, but being able to see, feel and experience something new is so helpful to form their understanding of it.

As someone who worked as a School Counselor for several years before becoming a mom, I am going to let you in on a little secret: Those teachers are just as nervous as you and your child and what a better way to start the school year off than by creating a great relationship between you, your child and the person responsible for educating them while at school.

Teacher Appreciation isn’t just one day or one week, it’s year round. In order to help your child succeed and transition well, you all need to work together. A child who has multiple adults loving and supporting them will thrive and a teacher will feel much more supported when they know you’re cheering them on from home and having a consistent and clear message across all environments.A strong relationship of both trust and autonomy between you and your child’s teacher will lead to greater outcomes for your child. This doesn’t mean your child won’t ever struggle, but it does mean that when they do, you’ll all be rooting on that child, encouraging them, and helping them navigate the difficulties together.

When your child’s teacher has confidence in the fact that you know they have your child’s best interest at heart, they will perform better. When teachers feel appreciated for all the hard work that they do, they will rise even higher and work even harder for their students.This doesn’t mean you need to buy lavish gifts, but a handwritten note or a very thoughtful appreciative email will go a long way.

The hardest thing is to do the inner work for ourselves. Addressing our own emotions whether it be worry, fear, anxiety, excitement or even relief about your child starting school will help with their own emotional regulation. Our children constantly look to us. We are their emotional compasses.

When my own son was starting school, my biggest fear was how our relationship might change. I know I projected that onto him, but if I had better prepared myself for this milestone I would have seen that there was no cause for worry. When you know how you truly feel, you can better meet them where they are. If they are nervous, you can validate that emotion by saying, “I am nervous too and I was nervous on my first day of school, but I am so excited for all of the things you are going to learn, all of the things you’re going to experience and all of the people you are going to meet.” Two things can be true at once, you can be both worried about them starting school and also be excited for it.

There will likely be tears. They will miss you. But they are still your child and this is a big moment for both of you, so enjoy it together.