Parenting in the age of social media can be difficult to navigate. As a mother and professional school counselor with a public social media presence, I constantly grapple with how and if to share my children on social media. My entire account is centered around the fact that I was made to be their mother. Sharing them is my joy. Yet, at the same time being their mother means I am also their protector, their safe place, and their comfort. I’ve created rules and boundaries for how and when I will share content with my children. I communicate these boundaries to my children in developmentally appropriate ways. I am so conscious that just because I chose the public presence, does not mean they did.
Trends are Not all They’ Re “Cracked” up To Be
You’ve seen the trends and the videos that have gone viral. The most recent one taking TikTok by storm is the “Egg Cracking” trend. A general search will warrant you hundreds and hundreds of videos. In the trend, parents set up the video to seem like they are going to be cooking together with their child and then what seems out of nowhere they crack an egg over the child’s head. The children have a wide range of reactions from hysterical laughter, to confusion, to utter despair, betrayal and sadness. As I sat and watched video after video, my sadness and disgust grew more and more.
You may have watched these TikTok videos, laughed at them and thought, “what’s the harm? It’s all in good fun.”, but there is a difference between fun and exploitation. Many of these “egg cracks” may seem harmless. Yet, many of them may have also altered the relationship between parent and child. They have changed the dynamic of trust. They created place where hitting is fun. And, a place where sadness and betrayal not only get laughed at, but also shared publicly with the world.
Harmless Social Media Trend or Bullying?
Think if your boss invited you to partner on a project because of the incredible work you have been doing. They invite you into a team meeting in the conference room and then put a camera in your face and tell you, “You’re an idiot. You’re incapable.” and share that moment company wide for the world to see. In this 20 second video, the parent did exactly that. They invited their child to cook with them, to connect with them and turned on the camera and then hit them with an egg.
In that interaction, that parent just taught their child that it’s not only acceptable to treat someone like this, but it is also funny. They showed their children that allowing someone to hurt them for their own benefit is okay. In one moment, if not handled properly, it is possible they have negated all of their good work demonstrating appropriate boundaries with their child. That child has the potential to carry it far beyond the moment just after the egg cracked on their head. You may think, “it’s only a prank”, but the future implications depict a much graver narrative.
Parents set the tone for what a child should tolerate in their own life. The developing child looks to their parent or caregivers in all things. They are forming their identity. They are trying to define themselves and understand their role in the world. Their brains are so malleable that they are ripe to absorb all of the information we present to them. It is why it is so important that if we, as parents, make a mistake, we work to repair any potential harm it causes the child. We should take ownership of our wrongdoings and emphasize that our behavior was not acceptable. We should be implementing healthy, safe, yet strict boundaries to guide our children through life.
The fact is, children are not our entertainment. They are not our punching bags. Dare I say, our children are even our equals, but they need us. They are vulnerable. Their lives are in our hands and we love them. Let’s act like it.